Why you should dump your girlfriend this December

by Ramon Thomas in Advice on 1818/121212/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , ,

As a Dating Coach and blogger I keep up with what other dating experts are saying. One of my favourites is a guy called Evan Marc Katz, who wrote two books: I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book and Why You’re Still Single. Anyway he makes a very good argument why December is in fact a good time to start new relationships because people are not in work mode. And so even though all he says is true I’m going to go with an opposing view from my favourite radio jock, Tom Leykis: DTB for the holidays.

According to Tom women want to have a guy around during major holidays like Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day or birthdays. Even if you’ve been with a booty call for a while this is the time to dump her and move on. He says further, “You’ll save yourself the money that would have been spent buying her a present, and there’s a lot of lonely chicks out there who want to be with somebody–anybody. Women want to feel feel validated on the holidays, so they go out on a hunt to find the sucker to buy her presents. Your appeal will be much higher as a man during these times. Sticking around with a girl during these times plants long-term thoughts in her head. You don’t want that for a booty call.”

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Craigslist Gold digger finds out Women are depreciating assets

by export in Women on 1919/101010/2007200720072007 • 15 Comments • , , ,


One of my heroes, Tom Leyk,is once did a radio show called Chicks Depreciating Assets. He discussed a personal advert on the online classified website, Craigslist by a gold digger. This has since spilled over into the blogosphere, the New York Times and Daily Telegraph. The original advert, and response are reposted here below to highlight the humour and the common sense lacking in the thinking of the woman who wrote the personal advert.

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.

I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won?t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

  • Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
  • What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won?t hurt my feelings
  • Is there an age range I should be targeting (I?m 25)?
  • Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I?ve seen really ?plain jane? boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I?ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What?s the story there?
  • Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
  • How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I?m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I?m being up front about it. I wouldn?t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn?t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won?t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you?re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold?hence the rub?marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to ?buy you? (which is what you?re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It?s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know

Want a second date? Pay for the first – NOT!

by Ramon Thomas in Advice on 2323/080808/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • , ,

The Professor of Poon, Tom Leykis, brought this article to my attention from a recent show. The author of the article starts out by saying how the deal was sealed when she went on a date and at the end of the dinner, her future husband, didn’t hesitate to pay for the dinner. The author even calls herself a hypocrite because she is a feminist and she is still getting her way with her man. Isn’t feminism supposed to be about equality? Without rehashing the whole story I would like to point how you can indeed get away without paying for the first date.

Try some of the following suggestions if you don’t want to pay for the 1st “date”…

  • Don’t call it a date – just hang out
  • Invite women over to your house to enjoy a bottle of wine
  • Meet them at the flea market and go looking for a hard to find gift
  • Meet them at a park/lake/beach and go for a walk
  • Take them to the opening of an art gallery (usually free with champagne/snacks)

You can get more ideas for cheap dates here. Let me elaborate further. Paying has nothing to do with getting laid. And all women know guys are just trying to get laid. In fact it’s in our evolutionary biology that we cannot fall in love with a women, want friendship/companionship or bonding unless we are physically attracted to you – and that also means – want to have sex with you. An old friend of mine always says women give men sex in exchange for love; and men give women love in exchange for sex. Sometimes reality is harsh but it’s still reality.

Leykis 101 – Never Date Single Mothers

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 2222/080808/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • , ,

Tom Leykis 101People are usually pissed off by this one. I also have personal experience with dating single mothers and these days I avoid them completely. Suffice it to say I have been there, tried it, and found it does not work for me.

Here’s the Leykis 101 rule on why you should never date single mothers.

Why? You already know their stance on abortion: they won’t have one. Don’t risk paying vaginamony or child support. Her kids will always be #1 in her life, and do you really want to take second-place to a woman? I didn’t think so. Why support another man’s mistake? How do you know she’s not looking for a support figure? Or someone to support her financially? Think of all that, and realize that the odds are stacked against you. She’s already had one mistake. She won’t go for the Hail Mary (more on that below). The last guy didn’t stick around. Why should you?

This isn’t to say that some of them aren’t very nice, have been screwed over by ex-husbands, or would be very great mates. But if you’re just looking to get laid, they are a definite off-limits. More than likely, you’re hooking up with a girl who wants another try at something she messed up the first time. With the hostility of today’s legal system towards men, you just don’t want to take the chance.

Leykis insists that some men have been ordered by the courts to pay child support to their former wives, even though they were not the biological father of her children. This, he asserts, financially ruins the men for many years making them unable to start a new life with another woman or enjoy the money they earn.

More on Tenets of Leykis 101 and download audios of past Tom Leykis shows here.

20 Dates for under R100

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 0606/080808/2007200720072007 • 1 Comment • , , ,

Tom Leykis, one of my favourite radio DJs, whom I listen to online, brought this story from Hitched Mag to my attention. Now it originally reads 20 Dates For Under $20 but since I live in South Africa I’ve adapted it to a realistic R100. Just by the way I highly recommend the movie 20 Dates for how NOT to go about dating women.

  1. Find the best happy hour in town: Look through your local newspaper or search online for websites that list happy hour prices for local restaurants and bars. Most places offer food and drink specials at half the normal price, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than R100.
  2. Go to a museum: Most museums are free or offer free entry on certain days of the month. I also highly recommend art galleries.
  3. Visit your local zoo: Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than R50. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic by your favourite exhibit. Joburg Zoo offers annual passes for R220.
  4. Go on a romantic hike: Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with your favourite bottle of cheap champagne, strawberries and plastic champagne flutes. The Suikerbosrand Nature Reserve, south of Johannesburg entrance fee is only R20 per person.
  5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or the beach: Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids. This is a great suggestion because so few people seem to go to swimming pools any more.
  6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date: Take two scoops to the park or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
  7. Get an Edgars Card to Pay Half Price @ Movies: South Africa doesn’t have a lot of choice in cinemas unlike America. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
  8. Take a downtown walking tour of your town or nearest city: You?ll have fun discovering things and places you never knew existed. You can also pick up a free visitors guide for ideas. I once took an ex-girlfriend from Cape Town to Hillbrow at 2am to get some Nandos.
  9. Throw a cheap picnic: Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own back yard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of R20 wine (Douglas Green St Clare, St Anna, St Vincent or St Morand).
  10. Take a blanket to the beach: Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on the blanket.
  11. Take a stroll through the botanical gardens: Spend the day walking through rose gardens and tropical rain forests hand in hand for less than R100 a ticket. Joburg Botanical Gardens by Emmerentia Dam is free and I’ve been there many times. Start from the bottom of the Rose garden and walk up, stop after each section, sit down, enjoy the view and kiss your girlfriend. Also try National Zoological Garden in Pretoria and Kirstenbosch in Cape Town.
  12. Be a kid again: Go bowling, play miniature golf (putt putt), ride go-carts or play laser tag.
  13. Build a bonfire: All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity for roasted marshmallows.
  14. Rent something: Go roller- or ice-skating, or rent a two-seater bike and ride through the park. Cape Town ice rink here and in Joburg go to Northgate.
  15. Paint pottery together: Lots of studios let you get creative for around R25 an hour. Go here for ceramic, pottery and fabric painting information.
  16. Pitch a tent: Park fees are usually between R30-R60, which leaves money for food and wood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.
  17. Go wine tasting: Many wineries charge around R15-R30 for a tasting?plus, you?ll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.
  18. Take a scenic drive: Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice caf?. In Johannesburg and Cape Town there are several locations with stunning views of the city below. You can find them on your own or just email me for the directions.
  19. Spend the night walking through the shops and enjoying the local artists: Lots of cities have art walks one night a month during the summer. Most galleries even offer a free glass of wine to art-walk goers in order to attract them.
  20. Rack ?em up at you local pool joint: With pool games costing R2 at certain venues, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.

Any more suggestions?

Leykis 101 – No Means No!

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 1414/050505/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , ,

Tom Leykis 101Now this is a Leykis rule which I think everybody can 100% agree with. It’s important to keep in mind that this rule is especially important with the rise of violent crimes against women. Many men are not able to express themselves and have a warped sense of reality i.e. they want to believe in the fantasy that a women who says “no” is playing hard to get. In reality it’s just not worth it…

Here’s the rule…

Regardless of the situation, when a woman says NO, stop whatever you are doing or about to do and get out. Even if you are in the middle hot steamy sex and she says No, you stop what you’re doing and get out.

  • No does not mean she is playing.
  • No does not mean just this one time.
  • No does not mean she consents to sex.

The laws mostly favour woman and will very rarely will it protect a man’s right. Men do not have the same luxury as innocent until proven guilty. Men are tried, labelled, and accused with little discretion.

If a woman cries out rape you will not past GO, you will not collect $200.00, but you will go directly to jail. It is not worth spending the next 10 years in jail and living the rest of your life as a sex offender.

For more Tenents of Leykis 101 please go here.

Who is the Millionaire Next Door?

by Ramon Thomas in Books on 0101/050505/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , , , ,


Chris Rock once explained the difference between being rich and being wealthy very succinctly. He said Shaquille O’Neil is rich but the guy who signs his cheque is wealthy. When you are rich you can loose all the money when you’re a big spender, live beyond your means or try to keep up with the Jones, also known as conspicuous consumption. The education system creates a society of consumers and that is a fact. Nobody in particular is to blame except yourself. When you stay blinded to the reality of life you continue to suffer. The signs of success can be overt and people may pay attention to you for a little bit longer. When it’s not over they may ignore you completely.

This leads me to Millionaire Next Door. The person who recommended this book was non other than Tom Leykis, the American talk radio host. He is a self-made multi-millionaire and brags about it often. In fact it only seems like bragging when it’s taken out of context or when you are jealous of his success. I’m not. I’m a admirer. He speaks honestly and directly about the reality of the world we live in. So I recently picked up a copy of this book, ordering it online as do most of my shopping these days.

This is not an easy read because it has heavy emphasis on numbers, statistics. Something which you may not enjoy reading because again the school system creates a society that dislikes mathematics in any shape or form. Now the research has been done by two Ph.D’s and you can’t fault the depth of their analysis. They surveyed large groups of millionaires and high income producers for several decades. This book is a very good snapshot of the research and you can start to see the common sense almost boring methods by which the millionaires become millionaires.

Here’s the most common denominators of millionaires:

  1. They live well below their means.
  2. They allocate their time, energy, and money efficiently, in ways conducive to building wealth.
  3. They believe that financial independence is more important than displaying high social status!
  4. Their parents did not provide economic outpatient care.
  5. Their adult children are economically self-sufficient.
  6. They are proficient in targeting market opportunities.
  7. They chose the right occupations.

In South Africa you may be interested in the Who’s Who list of Wealthiest South Africans.

Leykis 101 – Spending Limits on Dates

by Ramon Thomas in Dating on 2323/040404/2007200720072007 • No Comments • , ,

Tom Leykis 101This is first of a series of Leykis 101 rules I’m republishing with some comments to put it into context for guys in South Africa. Upon some reflection I decided that R200 is a fair equivalent to the US$40 limit on a date. As you’ll know R200 is one of the options on a ATM in South Africa. As the argument goes spending more on a date is not going to make a woman like you more. So decide on a limit for yourself and stick to it.

This rule reminds me of something a good friend of mine, who happens to be an accountant, said once. In most cases guys are spending money on women because they want to have sex with them. So it instead of spending money getting into a club and buying drinks for women, you should instead just go find a prostitute and get it over and done with. I do not agree with his suggestion because as I have progressively improved my skills with women and dating I have spent less and less money and get better and better results. If you’re a guy who’s spending to much on women sign-up for my coach programme.

Here’s the full explanation of this rule. Where you see $40 think R200!

Leykis 101 students are cautioned against spending more than $40 on a date. The reasoning behind this is Leykis’ opinion that more money spent during a date will not necessarily lead to a better chance of sex, contrary to the belief of most ‘uninformed’ men. If the person a student is dating does not want sex by the third date, a Leykis 101 student is instructed to “dump that bitch”. Leykis asserts, as a matter of convenience to his students, that if a woman doesn’t have sex with them by their third date, it means she has no intention of ever doing so.

If you have to go on several dates before reaching your goal, this can make girls very expensive. How do you do this? There’s several ways to cut costs. If you are going out to dinner, eat first. Then at dinner, just order a salad or bowl of soup. What girl is going to eat more than the guy, especially if it’s the first dates? Does she want to look like a little piggy in front of him?

Try to avoid the dinner. When you’re asking her out, say something like “Well, what time are you eating dinner?” She might think you’re asking her to dinner–but no. When she gives an answer, like “Oh, I was thinking about 7:30,” you make your move. Say, “Ok, and about an hour and a half to eat, I’ll pick you up at 9, and we can get some drinks?”

You’ve done it. She’ll probably look dumbfounded for a second, or think that you are a little “dense,” but you have just won. That’s an entire dinner you don’t have to pay for. The money can be better spent on buying her liquor and getting back to her place for some fun.

You can read more Tenents of Leykis 101 here…

My Next Car: Mercedes-Benz SLK

by Ramon Thomas in Personal on 1111/111111/2006200620062006 • 6 Comments • ,
Mercedes-Benz SLKI’ve been dreaming about an SLK for many years now and the day I’ll be able to purchase my own is coming closer and closer. Especially after watching a film, The Secret. I started using some visualisation techniques like pasting a photo on my wall, and also making it my Desktop background photo. I missed out on a test drive two weeks when I was stupid enough to forget my drivers license at home :-( Well I’m going to do that test drive within the next few weeks. What’s amazing is how frequently I’ve been seeing one on the road. So its a fitting tribute that its the 10 year anniversary of the SLK.

Tom Leykis makes the following analogy: A man drives the most expensive (best) car he can afford. No boy dreams of driving a Toyota or Volkswagen growing up. Boys dream of Ferrari or Lamborghini’s growing up. So in reality, boys do not grow up dreaming of the average girl. They dream about Playboy playmates or the young hot actress in the latest teen comedy. The same may apply to women. Read this article here.

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