Comments on: Move magazine interview about other women

By: Ramon Thomas

Ramon Thomas — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:16:13 +0000

Tumelo your situation is not unique. Both men and women cheat from time to time. And society programs us to feel a tremendous amount of guilt over this action. And this is for a good reason - bonding with the mother of the child is important for the long term safety and time need to raise your child. What I recommend you do is something unusual I learned from Dr John Demartini, which is making a list of all the benefits you received from this action you have taken. I'm sure you can easily list 100 reason why its bad. So the purpose of this exercise is to balance your perception. After a while you will begin to realise that the action was neither good nor bad, its simply how we have been taught to label these events. No don't get me wrong, your girlfriend will not see any good in this. However, its already clear to me you have begun to value her more than before. And you understand the importance of being loyal and being a good parter. Please do this exercise and give me some feedback in the next few weeks.

By: Tumelo

Tumelo — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:43:48 +0000

I know God has blessed me with this woman that i’m with.She is beautiful inside and out,a loving mother to our daughter,friend,soulmate and a great companion.My problem is,i have once cheated on her and she has forgiven me,it was a year and few months ago.My concern is,i just can’t stop regretting for what i have done,most of the time when i look at her i feel like burting into tears.She has been nothing but a good partner to me,loyal and loving.Its really tearing my soul apart.

By: FK

FK — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 10:53:05 +0000

Am in a serious relationship of 2years and couples of months.

I had a sex partner before i met this sweet girl who is my life partner.never had any trust with this Sex Partner and we had to break up.

Then i committed myself to this life partner current,she fell pregnant and lost our twins.This year which is 2009 the sex partner claims that she has a child with me,i then told my partner about the whole story.She asked me whether am sure or not about the child,i said to her you know i grew without my father then how can i deny the child.She insisted on us doing the paternity test.

At later stage the tests came back negative the child is not mine.Before the child story there is a person who’s busy sending nasty sms about my current girl.We fought about those sms.

I need an advise as me & my partner havent seen each other for months,i miss her a lot as we were attached to each other.Told about the child that she’s not mine.She told me that she wants to pay a revenge.Plis help in love with my partner.

Now she’s avoiding me big time,consulted the elders but nothing positive.

Please help me i dont want lose her,am struggling to live without her.Both of us know that we love each other.

By: Ramon Thomas

Ramon Thomas — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 10:17:15 +0000

Thabo how the hell did you get this woman pregnant knowing she has a child from another man? Don’t you know about condoms and other forms of birth control?

Anyway she has a vice grip on you because of the guilt that goes with making her pregnant. However, if you want to maintain your sanity you need to give her an ultimatum: Either she breaks all contact with this guy or you leave. And when you say this you have to mean it. The stress and anxiety that will come with you staying in this relationship over the long term will be detrimental to your own personal happiness. And if you think about it this way, when you are unhappy how can you make her or any other woman happy for that matter. So think about yourself and ask your if you want to be in this situation in 5 years time. Unless you confront her on your feelings she will never know how serious an issue it is for you. And remember she did not marry the ex-boyfriend so there is no rules or conditions that should force you to get married to her.

By: Thabo

Thabo — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:01:44 +0000

My girlfriend and I have been datin for two years. She once told me story about a friend of hers she slept with while she was still dating her boyfriend (at the time), in other words she cheated on her boyfriend with this guy. My problem is she is still in contact with this friend of hers even till this day. I have communicated to her that I’m not comfortable with this whole thing, but she tells me nothing will ever happen and she regrets what she did back then.
Its not that I don’t trust her, but nothing is stoping her from sleeping with him again if she wants to. We have a baby now and that wont stop her because she has a baby with her ex-boyfriend as well and still slept with him. I don’t know how to handle this situation anymore.